Animals in prison/ time out

Some animals just don't get along together. We all know that. That's why we don't cage the lions with the antelope or the wolves with the sheep or the alligators with the the, well we they're just better left alone anyway. So why do we assume that we can put all these different stuffed animals in the same room without any problem appearing? I guess we shouldn't.
Matthew came to me the other day to say the sneaky snake had bitten Mr Elephant on the foot. Now Mr Elephant needed to rest in my bed because he could only walk on 3 legs and everyone know an elephant needs all 4 legs to hold up that weight. So Sneaky Snake was put on notice that if he did it again, he would be sent to timeout. Well not more than 10 minutes later I was informed that Sneaky Snake had in fact bitten Mr Elephant on the leg again. So Sneaky Snake was banished to the garage where he would not be able to bite any other animals. But banishing wasn't enough. He was tied up with a rope and pushed inside a box and then locked inside the garage.
We thought the other animals would learn their lessons, but no. A few minutes later, big Scooby Doo and Little Scooby Doo were banished to the locked garage because they were beating up on Monster Truck. And then Elephant, who had apparently miraculously recovered from the snake bite, got into a tussle with Monster Truck and was also banished to the garage. Monster Truck had to recover in Matthew's bed with the covers tucked up over him and a pillow for his, errr, head?
After a week, the animals were allowed back into the house. But I think the big lesson from this is that if we are going to buy stuffed animals, we need to make sure they are compatible. Just to be on the safe side, we are not buying any stuffed salmon for AnnaRose's room. I think the stuffed bears would just have a field day with that one.

I (Heart) the 80's

Matthew told me the other day he was allergic to the 80's. Actually, it went something like this:
Mom, "Those shorts look just like Daddy's 80's shorts he still wears."
Matthew, "I hate these shorts."
"I hate the 80's"
"I'm allergic to the 80's"

My daughter ain't no sharpshooter

Last couple of nights AnnaRose has been waking up in the middle of the night. 12:30 to be exact. Which is unusual because she always sleeps through the night. Has since about 3 months old. We got really lucky with her or maybe someone was making up for Matthew's sleeping habits when he was young. Anyway, back to the story, I went in last night to try to calm her down. I usually will not pick her up or feed her in the middle of the night because I don't want her to get in the habit of waking us up. I rubbed her back and told her she needed to lie down because it was still night. She promptly hurled the Nuk she had in her hand at me. That wasn't sufficient though so she took the one out of her mouth and threw that at me. Fortunately she has my athletic skills and couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a shotgun. I calmly reached down to the floor and gathered up the Nuks. I tried to give one back to her but she just screamed and refused to take it. I tossed the two in the crib and watched as she literally body slammed the crib mattress, hunted around in the dark for the Nuk, stood up and hurled at me again. Unfazed I told her I wasn't going to play games but I would sleep on the floor in her room until she fell asleep. A trick I used to use with Matthew a lot. She fell asleep about 10 minutes later and I got to go back to bed. Before I left, I snuck the Nuk back into her crib knowing she would thank me in the morning.

Test night

For the past two months, Matthew has announced each night what kind of night it is.  For instance, cardboard night.  This is a night where I have to design and construct something out of cardboard.  Some nights are easy, such as Movie Theater night where we turn off the lights, make popcorn and watch a show on TV.  Others are more difficult, such as Contraption Night where I have to help him design and build a contraption on the living room floor.  All without letting AnnRose tear it down.  There are many other 'nights': Store Night, Tent Night, Sleeping by the door Night, etc.  He usually plans these out weeks in advance and writes them on his calendar with symbols that only he can decipher.  And he knows what night is coming up and refuses to alter the plans.

Tonight is a new night called Test Night.  This is a night where we have to think of a new night and test it out.  I guess to determine if it will make it into the regular rotation.  I'm a little afraid of what this night might be.  I'm hoping for something simple like Chicken Nuggets Night and not something like, Make a movie Night.

You want to do what to me?

San Diego is a great outdoors city.  Everyone know about the beaches and the large park in the middle of the city, but the city also has a several canyons that criss-cross the city.  These canyons are reserved for wildlife and so cannot be built in.  They make great hiking areas.

Jen asked Matthew if he wanted to go for a hike in the canyon on Sunday.

"But Mommy, canyons kill people."

"Canyons don't kill people, what are you talking about?"

"On the pirate ships they explode and kill people."

"Those are Canons. We are going to the canyon. It's like a small valley."

"Is a valley what's behind Alex's house?"

"No, that's an alley."

Time for a re-negotiation

At the age of 5 Matthew has his good days and his bad.  Actually they go in cycles where he will have 3 to 4 bad days followed by 3 to 4 good days.  For punishment, we have tried many different approaches but the one that up till now we felt worked the best is the time out.  He is sent to a chair in the dining room to sit and we set the timer.  

He had been good for a few days with no timeout when we were driving home the other day.  We stopped the car and as I was helping him out of the car he said to me, "Daddy, I don't think you should put me in timeout anymore when I am naughty because I don't think timeouts are making me be better."

So he is telling me, "Dad, we need to re-negotiate the whole punishment thing.  Cause what we got here isn't working for me or you."

Am I an absent parent?

We don't get a lot of snow in Southern California.  In fact, we don't see any in San Diego, but occasionally a winter storm will blow through and drop a few inches of snow in the mountains to the East.  When this happens, two things occur: 1) chains are required to drive on all mountain roads and 2) everyone from the city drives up to the mountain on the weekend to revel in the snow.  Some even load the back of their truck with the snow to bring back home.

The other day, I decided to take the family to Mount Laguna for some sledding.  The first thing we realized was that we had to dig out all our winter gear.  After that, we realized we didn't even own a sled.  We borrowed two sleds from our neighbor and off we went for the hour drive to the sledding hill.

After parking alongside the road with every other city nut, we piled out and I pulled the sleds out of the car.  My son looked at them and asked, "What's that Daddy?"

What's that?!  This is when I realized I was not doing my job as a father.  It's like being asked what fishing is, or how to throw a baseball.  After this he asked me if I could show him how to make a snowball.

A snowball!  He's 5 years old and I have never shown his how to make a snowball!

I should turn in my fatherhood license.  Before that though, I should show him how to fish.

Tough job

I have often said that parenting is the toughest job you'll love. Well this weekend, the tough far outweighed the love part. Leaving me reaching for the bottle, the wine bottle that is.

"Daddy, I cleaned up all the milk I spilled. And Chiquita is licking up the rest off the floor."

"How much milk did you spill?"

"Not much, it was in the medium."